‘Thrilla in Travilah’ to Decide Wootton's Fate

The battle over the future of Wootton High School moves to the squared circle next month in a heavyweight match billed as the “Thrilla in Travilah.” Rockville Councilmember Adam Van Grack and Gaithersburg Councilmember Yamil Hernández will go 15 rounds at the Nancy H. Dacek North Potomac Community Recreation Center to decide the school's fate.

Fight promoter Adam Pagnucco announced the high-stakes prize in the winner-take-all slugfest. “If Hernández wins, Wootton students go to Crown,” Pagnucco stated. “If Van Grack is victorious, Gaithersburg concedes both Wootton and its illustrious annual book festival to Rockville.”

Acting as referee, Montgomery County School Superintendent Thomas Taylor has his work cut out for him as the bitter rivals amp up the pre-fight smack talk. “Option H stands for ‘Hurt,’ and if that's what Hernández wants, he won't be disappointed,” Van Grack told Pugilist Perspective.

“Fear has taken over Van Grack's emotions,” Hernández said in response. “If you crunch our fight stats and height-and-reach advantage vectors, the data says Van Grack goes down for the count like an Asian-fusion restaurant in Rockville Town Center.”

“Facts do matter,” Van Grack replied, “and the fact is Hernández will fall harder than a water-soaked Wootton ceiling tile.”

Rockville Mayor Monique Ashton says the “Thrilla in Travilah” is a sure bet for her city. “Van Grack climbs mountains in the morning and mounts proclamation plaques all afternoon. He'll take down Hernández harder than a rent control bill,” she said. “And if by some miracle Hernández wins, well, our students still get a brand-new school just ten minutes away. We can't lose.”

Gaithersburg leaders are equally confident. “Hernández is younger, hungrier, and has the balance of a gut microbiome on probiotics,” said Gaithersburg Mayor Jud Ashman. “And if he loses, which he won't, we'll still have a great book festival, just with a new community ten minutes further away in Red Gate Park.”

The “Thrilla in Travilah” will livestream on Granicus free for Montgomery County residents and via pay-per-view simulcast on HBO Live for non-residents.